#32 | Providence Or Chaos: How We Decide What Pain Becomes

Chapters

• 0:01 New Year Return And Family Distance
• 0:46 A Film, A Lollipop, And Heartache
• 2:11 Mud And The Lotus: A Guiding Quote
• 2:27 Saints, Substacks, And Providence
• 4:08 Do Things Happen To Us Or For Us
• 5:23 Cross Before Crown: The Christian Frame
• 6:23 Grief, Meaning, And Avoiding Despair
• 7:35 Radical Gratitude And The Central Cross
• 9:06 Picking Up The Cross With Courage
• 9:57 A Sporting Note And Final Blessing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Sunny Bunani. Welcome to the Sunny Bunana, everybody. This is 2026, our first episode, and I'm very, very glad to be back and talking with you guys. Thank you for tuning in. I was in South Africa for the holiday with my family. And without going into too much details, my two daughters live there. And I live in England at the moment. That's the situation. And my wife are over in South Africa. So saying goodbye to them wasn't easy. And on the aeroplane back to England, I chose to watch a movie called The Lollipop. And a couple of reasons, I mean, lollipop stuck out because my youngest is learning new words, and one of those words is lollipop. And in this movie, there's a mother who's spend time spends time in jail and has two daughters, also. And she promises when she gets out, she's going to see them. Meanwhile, these her daughters are in foster care. But when she comes out, it's not that simple to see them or to just have them because she is homeless. And it's a tough situation for a mother to be in. I am not in the same situation as this woman in the movie, but saying goodbye to my daughters, I could feel the heartache of not being able to be with your children. But why I'm telling you about this is because there was a quote in this movie. The one friend of this mother says The thicker the mud, the more beautiful the lotus flower becomes. The thicker the mud, the more beautiful the lotus flower becomes. Now I follow Paul Kingsnorth on his substack called The Abbey of Misrule. And he's also a Christian and a specifically converted to Orthodox Christianity from paganism and and uh Wicca Wiccan. But his last substack he wrote these words from Saint Anthony the Great. It is absurd, declared Saint Anthony the Great, to be grateful to doctors who give us bitter and unpleasant medicines to cure our bodies, and yet to be ungrateful to God for what appears to be harsh not grasping that we all encounter is for our benefit. What we all encounter is for our benefit and in accordance with his providence. Coupled with another person I'm reading at the moment is a psychologist by the name of Roger McFillen. I think that's his surname. Roger McFillen. And his podcast his substack's called Radical Radically Genuine, radically genuine Dr. Roger McFillen. And he was suggesting this exact sentiment in Anthony the Great and this quote, the thicker the mud, the more beautiful the lotus flower becomes. Is that in life, do we think that the things that happen to us, or the things that challenge us, or even the good things, are just happening to us, they just happen to happen to us, or are they happening for us? And it's an amazing mindset shift if we go from the former to the latter. If we go from two to four, and as a Christian, and many Christians before me, and to an extent religious people understand this deeply, that all things are happening for you. I can only comment about Christianity because that's the faith I live in. God's providence. In Christianity, we have a saying also no cross, no crown. God is working through creation to unite it all, to bring it back all in union. I said to the students today in chapel that we had a school where there's a curriculum and tests and challenges, because the teachers want you to get somewhere. They want the student to be come from A to B, to develop, to grow. And it's the same. Christ in the Christian message is we are in a certain condition due to our falling from Eden and our sin that we need the mercy and grace to get back to our original state from A to B and all things that happen to us. I want to share quickly before I end up, because I don't like to talk too much in my podcasts, is that I was talking to a colleague that went through a very difficult Christmas losing a loved one and then their loved one, their partner losing also a loved one. And to just say to them, you know, everything happens for a reason in that moment's probably not the most helpful thing to do. However, I think the alternative option to take this harshness going on and the hurt as something that just is random and with no meaning is probably more hurtful and more damaging in the long run. That leads to despondency, nihilism, and despair. Well, that's where the devil wants to take us. But Christians, if you are a Christian, know this. And if you're not a Christian and you're curious about what Christians believe, God is working salvation through all things. There's nothing that happens in this world that either God hasn't allowed or has made happen. And it's laughable, I think, to the modern mind to think like this. As Paul Kingsnall says, it would be laughable to think this way. And the most absurd thing from the Bible, maybe perhaps in this instance, is when Paul says, give thanks in your suffering. Give thanks for suffering. But I guess my message at the beginning of a year is to think about whether things happen to you or for you. And if you can grasp your situation, whatever you may be going through through, and think, how can I grow from this? Where is God leading me if you have the faith in God? Where is this test taking me? What is it teaching me? I've heard from some wise people in my life that pain is the greatest of teachers. It's the greatest of teachers. And numbing it does not take it away. So I pray for all of us, all my listeners out there, that in the good times and the bad times, that we give actual radical gratitude to these things to understand that without the cross in Christianity, we don't have the story, we don't have the message. We can't skip from the birth of Christ, which we've just had, to the resurrection. It does not work like that. In the middle of the faith is the cross, is the suffering. And it wasn't suffering by just any old person, some person that lived in history, because there were many of those. The suffering was done and experienced by the living God who created all things. And a beloved friend of mine, who I want to get on the show soon, sooner than later, said that we are so afraid of picking up that cross because of the price that comes with it. But true courage, true faith, true humility stoops down, picks up the cross, and trusts in God. Because where God is leading us is beyond our wildest imaginations. Imagination. God has a divine curriculum with tests and things in our way and challenges that is turning us in to a good and faithful servant. Dorku, he plays for Man City, Manchester United rival. I'm a Manchester United fan, by the way. City player, Dorku, he said he doesn't care about anything else but this, that when Jesus comes and judges him, that Jesus will say, Well done, my good and faithful servant. So God bless you all. This Christmas tide and this new year, may your challenges, may your life experiences, the good and the bad, bring you to the glory that God is taking you towards.